16 Comments
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Barbara Buckles's avatar

Every time I read one of your posts I wish we lived nearer to one another so we could just sit and chat for an hour or three. I love the way you think.

In writing my memoir it became clear, thankfully fairly early on, that, since I'm not a public or newsworthy figure, the only point in writing it was not to tell my story, which is what I originally thought I was doing, but to tell a story others could find themselves in. I thought it was about my life; it was really about how and why someone might run amok, and recover. Maybe a cousin to the awakening you had, no? Ten years in and I'm still at it.

What is the forward lean? And puffling...is there a cuter name for anything?

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

I’d love it if we lived closer, too, Barb! Your comments are always some of my favorites because they’re so insightful and honest. For example: the understanding that your memoir is for other people more than yourself! Similarly, recognizing that I might have readers and can provide a certain experience for those readers has been a slow-dawning realization for me. I wonder, though, if there’s something useful about telling ourselves a project is “just for us” at first? There might be, for me.

Anyway, I can’t get enough of hearing how everyone makes sense of this whole writing thing. 🤪 Thanks for being here and being lovely, Barb.

Barbara Buckles's avatar

This probably isn't the best way to share this and I'm not sure it will work but thought I'd try. I don't know if you're familiar with the poet Andrea Gibson, but I thought this would resonate with you: https://andreagibson.substack.com/p/one-year?r=i2khd&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

That works perfectly, and a thousand thank-yous for invoking Andrea Gibson in this space—I’ve followed their story through the years and am beyond moved by their poetry and legacy and how Meg has picked up the thread since their passing. Did you see the documentary Come See Me In the Good Light? I didn’t catch the anniversary post, so I appreciate you sharing!!l

Barbara Buckles's avatar

Yes, I did see it. ❤️ I'm one of the many thousands who only came to know them after their passing. Wish I'd been onboard earlier...but glad I'm here now. I almost feel like I know them.

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

It seems like part of what makes Andrea really special was their ability to be so open that everyone feels deeply connected to them! It’s one of their qualities I really admire.

Susan Signe Morrison's avatar

I love this post! And it is making think about what the "real" story is in my own book! Thank you for posting this...I will revisit your wisdom as I edit.....

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

I’m happy you find it helpful during edits! 😊

Emily Moss's avatar

I think it takes so much courage to dive back in, after you thought you were “done.” I relate to so much of what you are taking about here!

In my case, I knew that I wasn’t “done” but I thought I was there, structurally. Then, some decisions that I made turned that upside down. Who knows when I’ll be done! Maybe when Haystack Rock is whittled down to a stepping stone!

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

The decisions you’re talking about are not easy to make, especially when you know they’ll move the goalpost much farther away. Or maybe I’ll correct myself here and choose to see the decision as its own goalpost and a stage we can be proud to reach.

Either way, on a geologic timescale, you and I are killing it! I’ll see you at tiny Haystack with finished manuscript in hand. 😂

Miranda Keskes, Book Coach's avatar

I love your honesty, Anne, as well as your ability to make hard decisions. Your novel (already strong) will be all the stronger for it. Love your insights and cheering you on every step of the way!

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

Thanks so much, Mandy!! A big part of why I feel able to make these tough decisions and keep going is because I have so many strong, supportive women in my corner. 😉

Lisa Laughlin's avatar

Go, Anne, go! Good luck on revision!

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

Thank you for being a big cheerleader for me, Lisa!! 🎉

Emma Theroux's avatar

So insightful as always! I can’t wait to see where the new revisions take you and your book 🩵 (also I love below deck haha an underrated show for sure!!)

Anne Kilfoyle's avatar

I’m beyond thrilled that you watch the show! 🛥️ 😂 Thanks always for your support Emma!